Ministry of Children & Youth Services
119 King Street West, 7th Floor
Hamilton ON L8P 4Y7
To whom it may concern
This is a letter explaining my situation and complaint with the Brant County Children’s Aid Society. The Society has been involved with my family on and off since July 1992 on assumption of alleged abuse on my children, poor parenting skills and too much stress.
In October 2002, a worker by the name of Donna Symes was assigned to my case, who since then has remained involved to this day even though I have no more children in my care since December 5, 2002. All of my children live in different homes. My youngest has been in foster care since that date, and is waiting for the courts to make her Crown Ward for the purpose of adoption. I was required by them to take parenting courses, group sessions, counseling and be seen by a psychiatrist for hopes that my children would return in my care. I followed through with each of their demands in order to be in good standing with the Society. Yet, it seems that my honesty and willingness to improve myself has caused much grief and pain to my family and to me. There have been accusations made against me that were untrue and overly exaggerated. For example, having high expectations of my children; punching them, which I never did because my approach to hot situations has always been to walk away; neglecting them, lack in parenting skills; failed to protect them; forcing my daughter to toilet train, which was never the case. My family life and my mental health haven been shattered which brought me to a depression and undo stress. This mental state was use against me and was told that I could not be a good parent. A parenting assessment was done in 2004 and so much information was untrue and distorted also. At that time, it was obvious to me that the doctor in question, seemed very bias on the whole situation and the recommendation was exactly what the worker wanted in the end.
I am presently expecting another child and I am being told, by this worker, that apprehension is very possible. There are many uncertainties on this at the present time. I am taking it one day at a time but still wonder what the agency will do. An alert has been place throughout Canada against me. So upon the delivery of this child, C.A.S. will be contacted and I will loose this child. She has stated that I can bond with the baby in the hospital and can nurse but to not expect the child to come home with me. In the last few weeks, Donna Symes was getting me to go to the office on a bi-weekly appointment. I have signed all the Form 14 required so that at the time of birth of this child, the Society can call the authorities involved in my life. I have been told that I need to continue counseling and see a psychiatrist, which I have no problem doing this even though I do feel that all is well with me. I was told to take, once again, a parenting course which if my memory serves me right, I have taken at least 4 of them to this date. She also told me that I would be re-assessed around the time of the birth of the new baby. I have no solid evidence of the outcome of my near future. I did tell Ms. Symes, why not let me take the baby home and have a worker at my home every day of the week if necessary even on Sunday. Her instant response to this was that this was not possible.
This worker, Donna Symes, has made many promises that she did not kept on more then one occasion. For example: Do what is required and your children will be returned to you; scheduled make – up visits with my daughter with no show from her part and no calls to cancel either. A few weeks ago she even told me that C.A.S. does not apprehend babies from the hospital and then stated differently. My doctor was upset that this woman was being dishonest with me and said that she should be telling me the truth.
I have often sought, in the pasts, the help of the Society, for help and advice. My children are my life and my world. All I want is a chance to prove that, but it seems that once again it’s impossible to prove anything to the Society when a worker is bias and seems to not follow what the Society really represents. I do understand that you are there to protect children but it’s also been my understanding that the Society is suppose to try to keep families together. It seems that this particular worker has been working very hard in keeping my family apart and continues to do so. I honestly believe that there is no reason for C.A.S. to be involved at this time or anytime in the future. But Ms. Donna Symes seems to think that she needs to be involved to be in control of the situation, which at this time there is no situation or anything else for that matter. How do I get the Society to stop being in my life and what damage is she trying to do or continue to do?
The only reason this worker knows of my pregnancy is because I’ve told her. In April 2005, I had to remove myself completely from the whole situation that surrounds me and moved to another province. At the time, it was something that was very much needed for my mental state. Removing myself away from all stressors that was surrounding me was the only thing I could think of doing at that time. I had nothing left to give to anyone including myself. I was so stressed out that I would break down at the least little thing. Before I left, I had my last visit with my daughter (April 7, 2005) who is in foster care as mentioned above. Upon my return to Ontario (Jan.16, 2006), I thought that being there still was nothing settled for her case, that maybe I could see my daughter again, so I called the worker. At that time, I told her about the pregnancy because I figured, if I was to see my girl, the Society would then notice my condition and so that I would not withhold any information, I voluntarily gave the info but now it’s causing me more grief once again.
I have found that over the years, there have been many contradictions with the Society. Some workers use to say that a spanking was ok but others would scold me for doing so. I am not talking about hard-core spanking; I’m referring to one or two spanking on the bottom with clothing. For one thing, how is a child suppose to be raise to respect and obey when we have no right to do anything to show them the right path? The Society and the Government has taken all of our parenting rights away and as we see the children now, we have children that are out of control and turning to a life of crime.
I’ve had workers in the past, wondered why they were involved with the family. They could not see what the problem was. So how can in so little time all of that has changed? I am not a monster as I have been made out to be and I want a chance to prove this but it seems to be impossible to do. I feel that I can’t breathe with C.A.S. constantly being involved and telling me what I can and cannot do. Yet I know that I have put into practice what I have been taught over the years. My biggest problem is that I’ve allowed to many people around me to tell me what to do and ended up feeling and believing that I was no good at anything especially in parenting. That is why I have often let others take over because I had no more self-esteem. If I’ such a bad parent, at it’s been perceived, then why do my older children keep telling me how good of a mom I am and all wish to be residing with me? I do admit that my choices of relationships were not healthy, even though it took me a while to see this, I did eventually take care of it. Unfortunately, not always when I should have. I get scared and it takes me some time to get this accomplished. I have a tendency to give the benefit of the doubt to all whom cross my part. I’ve allowed people to abuse my kindness and it’s something that I do have to work at so that I may not repeat my previous mistakes.
On a final note, I wanted to say that I have read your beautiful brochure call “Working together to protect children”. I will say that it’s well put together. Unfortunately, not even 1/3 of it’s content was applied towards my case since Donna Symes go involved.
If you require any additional information from me, please feel free to contact me in any way that is convenient for you.