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Friday, February 03, 2006

The objective of this blog; my motto if you will...

Union:

I don't know, y'all, we in a real deposition
In the midst of all this negative condition
Divided by beliefs, different sink and religion
Why do we keep missing the point in our mission?
Why do we keep killing each other, what's the reason?
Listen, I know it's really hard to make changes
But two of us could help rearrange this curse
Utilising all the power in our voices
Together we will unite and make the right choice
And fight for education, save the next generation
Come together as one
I don't understand why it's never been done
So let's change on the count of one
It takes one, just one
And then one follows the other one
And then another follows the other one
Next thing you know you got a billion
People doing some wonderful things
People doing some powerful things
Let's change and do some powerful things
Unity could be a wonderful thing...

-Black Eyed Peas

35 comments:

Lisa Burns said...

That truly says it all. Great motto, it should be everyones.

Anonymous said...

Amanda,

I will not say that what your doing is not good, as it is. About amonth ago and now I read stuff that you have written about Jeffrey's family. You should be more clear on who your talking about. Have you ever sat down and talked to the Paternal family? Have you ever spent a day in there shoes. I hope as you move forward you would think of them. You don't know what it was like to be raised in a world where you were an underpriveleged kid. And the clothes and shoes you wore weren't exceptable in the school you went to? Also when someone anonymous sponsored you to go to a christian camp for a week, you didn't want to come home. You knew that the food would be minimal. The most hurting feeling ever was that the man who was suppose to protect you and provide for you, could give a rats behind if you lived or died. He only came around for punishment. He would yell and scream, and sometimes attack one of the older siblings. That lasted for years until one day the kids grew up and took a stand against him. We all made a promise that we would keep our family together no matter what. It was the 5 of us against the world. The world had been cruel and left us behind. But we faught back, always saying that it wasn't going to be like that when we had kids. Soemthing happened though. Even though my mom taught us to love peole even when they kick you when your down or to love your neighbour even when their music was loud, wasn't enough for one of us. We cannot pick our family memebers. One of us took a different turn. Do you know how many times my mother cried for him. Tried to tell him she would do anything. But everytime he told her to mind her own business. Even today he tells her. He makes her cry a lot. You don't think it is shameful to have a kid that gave up life so easily and then kept you out. You gave birth to that man. You raised him the best you could, on Social assistance and City Homes housing. You didn't work cause you knew that the house would go crazy if you weren't there to control it. Also try being married to a man who never let you work except for taking out the garbage while he sat on his butt!! No education and low self esteem. Battered womens syndrome. I read up and studied a lot! I use to be abgry thinking "why didn't she leave?" But I can't blame her. Look at her life. She was a sweet mom. I love her so much. She is always there for us when we need her, but sometimes we have to be there for her. Don't bash my mother, as you don't know her. You have know idea of where she came from and the fight of her life. She graduated high school when I was 16. Man were we proud. She never though it would ever happen. But boy did we give her a hard time. I don't imagine there are many women that could do what she did in her life. She struggled, we struggled. And let me tell you something it was never easy for us. Not even when we got a step father. Life was not as great as some people may perceive. And not all of us have children for Social assistance. I graduated high school by myself. I went to college and lived on my own while working full time. I did it all by myself. I bought my own home and a car and you know what, I did it all by myself. I have chaged my path for better and have learned from this tragedy that has affected my life tremedously. I deal with CAS and CCAS kids everyday. I see their tears and hear they're abuse and my heart hurts. Have you ever talked to a kid in the childrens aid. Majority of cases are not down because of CAS but because of bad parenting and abuse from other adults. Do you know that in Toronto right now at least 20 kids are being abused. I know what your doing is great, but I help kids everyday of my life, I give my heart and soul, so no one will ever go through what my nephew has. I want the teenagers to be able to rust as no one has given them a chance. I know people who work for the CAS and they are good people who care and work hard. You can't penalize people because of they're co-workers. And if you want to point fingers point it to the CITY HALL or above, where the funding comes from. Have you ever talked to a CAS worker. Good that job is emaotionally draining and has the most burn out rate. YOu have one child to worry about, imagine 30. 30 who the majority have some mental illness and call you about 30 times a day. That kind of pressure and stress can get to everyone. I have heard that you took a leave from work due to stree, try dealing with child abuse everyday of your life. You get so use to hearing it all the time, that a part of you go numb! We are human, not robots. We feel, we hurt, we bleed, and we burn out. I love the job that I do with the kids. I teach them to be forgiving as well as being respectable in society. I work my butt of for them. When they first meet you they think that your life is perfect because you smile all the time, and rarely get upset. But then as they talk to you more they ask you questions and you may choose not to answer, but most don't mind. I think they have got to see that life is hard, but you can make a difference if you beleive in yourself and learn to let go. When you treat them like humans and they see that your truly do care (as it is not about the money, not a lot of funding in the social services sector! You should read up on that!)they start to function. You do loose some a long the way side. And those are the ones that hurt the most. The ones who you try with all your might to help them and support them, even when they have verbally abused you or thrown a chair at you, you try to hold on and not let them fall through the cracks. But they do. And thats the harsh reality. I do this because I love humans. I think every human should have at least one chance to make it. One chance to pull through all this kaos and crap. My friends at work, they try so hard as well. No one ver notices them. The people who care for these kids. the people in the trenches everyday giving they're heart and sould. The people who work with mentally disabled youth and adults that no body wants. Those people who work in the shelters trying to protect the teengaers and battered women. We don't hear about them. And to the CAS and CCAS workers who bust they're butts everyday trying to work against a government who does not fund graciously.

Remeber them. You have one burden, we have many. Plus dealing with my own family.

Life goes forward and another day goes by. Jsffrey is gone, but not forgotten at all. I don't like to talk about it much, but not because of guilt, because it is too much to bare. To think this happened in my family. So I though it never would. I was stupid to think the our world could change completely. I will make that change and I will stop the circle of violence and hurt and tears. It stops with me. My kids won't ever know what it is like to feel pain from anothers hand. If anyone ever hurt my future children GOD HELP THEM!! My mother made me promise and I intend to keep it. I will never forget and I will always feel it in my heart. Jeffrey was loved!

Amanda (The Aunt) Paternal family!!

Anonymous said...

To Amanda (the paternal aunt of Jeffrey Baldwin): I find your insight very refreshing. Most have been curious as to who or what kind of people the paternal family are like, it seems your family has come a long way although it is a sin for Richard to be too late to save. God bless your family and Jeffrey's soul.

Anonymous said...

To Amanda (the paternal aunt of Jeffrey Baldwin): I find your insight very refreshing. Most have been curious as to who or what kind of people the paternal family are like, it seems your family has come a long way although it is a sin for Richard to be too late to save. God bless your family and Jeffrey's soul.

Julie

Anonymous said...

From what I've seen from going to court is that Richard's side are good caring people. Richard and Yvonne and her Family are Evil!Richard only went to court when he "had too".When I talk about family it's about the low life's that did nothing to save Jeffrey.CCAS,Norm,Elva,Yvette,Yvonne,Richard,Tammy,Mike and JAMES MILLS!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

You forgot one!! Pls lets not forget about Tammy's boyfriend. Her kids were taken away too. There was also some suspicion that her was molesting the girls. The CCAS was notified about this from someone in the family. Apparently the CCAS went to the house to check up, but did not see anything and left it. Who knows if this is truth. People talk so much smack lately. Thnak god she doesn't have her kids either. you would think her being a mother she might have some feeling. But I guess when you grow up in horror you becaome horror. To the Aunt above, you need to find peace and let go of some of the pain. It wasn't your fault, you cannot control everything. Just love your own children when you have them. If you don't then shame on you. You know what can happen. Many praises for working with kids and not giving up. It is a hard battle, but you seem like you'll make it. You don't have to answer to anyone. Families did not come with instructions! Remeber no family is perfect. Skeletons are in everyones closet!!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your comment.I like when there is someone like you who doesn't pretend to be perfect,so smart and so rich and have perfect families like all the other negitive people. Thankyou

Anonymous said...

Ya your right Mike I thought I had him down,sorry.

Anonymous said...

I'm a little confused trying to understand the person who posted as (The Aunt) Paternal Family. You mentioned you deal with CAS kids every day. What I didn't understand was whether you're employed as a foster parent or work in some another area. You also mention mentally disturbed youth and adults nobody wants. Thanks in advance for your reply.

Anonymous said...

The 1:09pm posting from anonymous is correct in my opinion with my same views, thank you for voicing your opinion!

Julie

Anonymous said...

I work in group homes. With teenagers that nobody wants. Teenagers that no adult wants. Or teenagers whos parents are at their last witt. I have friends who work with the Mentally challenged and also friends who work with latency aged sexually abused kids. I've done a lot of things in the way of teenagers. Their my first passion.
Amanda (Aunt)

Lisa Burns said...

Amanda B, good to hear that you are doing great. The last time I spoke to your mother she told me how well you were doing. I'm so proud of you, I always knew you were going to be something special. I always thought Lawyer, you were great with litagation and won the majority of your arguments! It was great to see Matt, he just grew 50 feet tall, still has the best cheeks in the world. Your mother did a great job on you 4, she was the hardest working single mother I ever seen. She always had her hands full with you 4, but still managed. I'm sorry for the loss in your family. I know that you are very close to your beautiful nieces and that the other children are never far from your mind. I hope to see you all under different circumstances, and wish you all the best on your upcoming family addition.

Jeffrey's Law said...

Thank you Amanda, a very good post that it appreciated. I'm sorry I was not clear, when I speak of Jefrey's family, I mean the Bottineau/ Kidman's. I did speak with a number of your family at the memorial and can not even begin to undersatnd the grief. By the way, your great grandmother is one of the coolest ladies I have ever met, I want you to know that.

Thanks again and I apologize if I came off wrong.

Amanda Reed

Thomas said...

OK who is Mike?
I dont see any post by a Mike?
Is this blog a private forum?

Or are family members sending messages to each other anonymously?

Anonymous said...

Mike lived in the house where Jeffrey died. His 2 daughters were there too. They seen the abuse too. All these children have to live with this hurt. With these memories. Trust me they never go away. When you go to bed it is the worst. Thats when they decide to creep up on you. All I ever wanted for my family was to be able to sleep at night. Memories are not always good. They have away of staying very vivid when their bad ones. Human nature. We cannot let go and remeber the bad times. That would be too easy. I always turn towards the bad. I try to remeber the good times we did have. But its hard. You love your family so much and then to be betrayed. You think blood is thicker then water, but its not. Lust in our case wins. My brother cares only for himself. I feel at a loss with him. I wonder if he ever feels bad for us or my mom. I wonder if he ever thought about my mom. You know we're the ones that pull her through, we're the ones that do everything to make her happy. We're picking up the pieces. My mom did not deserve to be pushed aside from my brother. I am angry and hurt. We always have to pay for Richards mistakes. Ever since we were kids. When does it end. I wish I could say I never want to see my brother again, but its my brother. I don't get him and don't understand why he is the way he is except that he is lost. He says he feels pain for his son. And maybe he does. I just wish he would start being respectful of my mother and stop treating her like a stranger. She gave birth to you. She woke up at nights when you were scared. She cleaned your butt. Mom sacrificed everything for us and this is what you give her as thanks.Richard I hope you read this. And whenever you feel the need to confront me, I say anyday. But I won't loose sleep. I'm moven on with my life. It can't always be about you!

Amanda (AUNT)

Anonymous said...

Amanda, Paternal Aunt

There are those who would call your mother a bad parent for the actions of her son. I know that's unfair - but you yourself label parents of children that demonstrate similar behaviour as bad. You don't say how many of these children's problems result from being trapped in the system, from their own bad decisions or through peer and societal influences.

Have you ever considered that the struggles experienced by your mother would certainly have landed you and your siblings in CAS custody if they occurred today? In defending those who would have destroyed your family, you are endorsing the practices of a vested multi-billion dollar industry that is more abusive, negligent and destructive than the worst child offender.

I have met dozens of CAS employees - all of whom I consider seriously disturbed individuals. I successfully brought four of them before the Ontario College of Social Workers for engaging in heinous professional misconduct that included contriving a malicious court action, perjury, fabricating physically evidence and placing the lives of two children at serious risk. All of these people were horribly unqualified for their roles and some were illiterate.

Collaborative abuse of this type would not be possible if the culture of these agencies were not corrupt. You've seen evidence of that in the Jeffrey Baldwin case. CAS employees are perfectly aware of this. In continuing to work for them they are as complicit in abuse as the adults living in Jeffrey Baldwin's house.

Anonymous said...

To the Anon above.

My mother was not a child abuser nor neglected her children. My mother went without a lot of times because of us. And the CAS did come to our house a couple of times. And you know what their final judgement was. My mothers children lacked discipline. Other then that the children were fine. They told my mother that they did not need to be involved. And please don't say that it was their mistake. My mother never drank never went out partying never gambled, never brought starnge men home. My mother lived for her children and for god. And if my brother ends off falling off the turnip truck, she is not to blame. As her other 3 children are perfectly fine and funtional adults. So please.

I am not saying that the CAS or CCAS should not be held responsible for their actions. As I know they did visit the house once while Jeffrey was alive.

Multi-billion dollar business HHHMMM! who you care to show me proof of all the multi-billion of dollars the CAS and CCAS have? I'm courious. Because last time I checked the government was not giving money away to the Social Services Sector. Have you ever read the budget for Toronto and how the money gets distributed down the line.
Remember not everyone is rushing to be a CCAS or CAS worker. Too time consuming crappy pay. Of course their gonna grab any joe! Soemtimes they evern higher people who don't have an education cause no one wants to do the job. I never said they were all good. But the ones I know are good and do work hard.

I have worked with a lot of CAS and CCAS teenagers. Majority are in there because of bad parenting. And when I mean bad parenting I don't mean parents that let their kids run free, I mean ones that abuse and are hooked on something. A handful and I mean a handful are there because they got lost in the system. There are the few who don't belong, but nobody will take them in. Who wants a teenager? I'm sure your not gonna take them?

So where do they go! Live on the street, protitute, drug deal. I mean I've only met a few people who did it on their own, and to be honest they struggled tremendously. I've also met teenagers that started in care and ended up being responsible adults. Living their lives peacefully working hard.

No one agency is perfect. I mean comeon evern where you work there is corruption. theres corruptions in politics as we speak. And they run the country! Imagine that. Theres corruption with police officers, with CAS and CCAS, with lawyers, with judges, with every agency. No one is perfect. But you can't trash everyone because of most of them. they're not all crazy and ready t take advantage. Yeah I won'e lie, I've met a couple that were shady, but a lot I've dealt with do their jobs.

And please spair me, I don't wear rose coloured glasses either!! I see some people who don't truly care. i get frustraed when a child is waiting patiently for the worker to call back and they never do. I see the'r hurt and I get angry.

So what do you suggest. i get all bitter and angry and throw some fits. You want me to scream and shout, swear. You want me to call them every name in the book. I've done that and I still hurt, so you give me suggestions. Because I know the best thing is to forgive. When you allow yourself to let go and forgive thats when your free. I can't live holding all this anger and bitterness in. it is hard to sleep at night when you think about all the things you would say to them if given a chance. But I won't. I won't live my life with all this hate. What goes around comes around. Trust me, i've been on the end of what came around. No one walks away that easily. So there you have it. I won't dwell on things that I cannot change. I can only change the future for my self and my future children. I will change the future and not look back. I want to heal. I want to feel like its ok to smile and to be happy. And that means letting go. FORGIVENESS! I live by a saying all the time "Judge not lest ye be JUDGED!!" I am not self righteous so I will not be the one to throw stones at anyone. Sorry. I am not perfect and never will be. So therefor I will not judge anyone else for their mistakes.

Amanda (AUNT)

Anonymous said...

Amanda (Aunt)

Good for you! You sound like you have a good head on your shoulders. I also believe in judge not lest ye be judged!!

There is someone who posts on this blog who doesnt have their head on straight though ie: billions of dollars etc.

The best you can do for them is ignore them. They quote this that and the other thing but when you ask where it came from they either dont answer OR it is fake or it is referring to another country.

Keep up the struggle Amanda (aunt)...you will win in the end!!

Anonymous said...

Question?
What about the other adults living in Jeffrey Baldwins house? Are any of them charged with anything? Child abuse, neglect, impraved indifference? Something?!!
If anybody can answer this question, please?!

Anonymous said...

None of them are being charged as of yet. The detective in charge of the case told my family that she would meet with us personally to discuss everything, even reasons why they are not up for charges. And if you clearly look at it, it would be kind of a waste as they can say that theywere afraid of their parents due to years of abuse. It sucks but thats our system. They should be held a ccountable. If not the sisters then the boyfriends cause whats their excuse. I guess a piece of ass and food is more important then a childs life. Shame. So we have to wait until after the trial, hopefully next week. My family is praying that those animals get the maximum. But who knows. THanks to everyones encouragement and support with my mother through this. I don't care about myself. I care about my mom! Shes protected me all my life, now its my turn.

Amanda (AUNT)

Anonymous said...

I'm glad to see this blog this way!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Love you Amanda,your cousin Elayne.

Anonymous said...

Amanda (Paternal Aunt)

The fact is, there are thousands of parents that are no less worthy than your mother whose children have been removed by CAS.

I’m glad to hear you realize these agencies should be held accountable for their actions. They have a lot to answer for. As for the funding issue:

Ontario’s 53 CAS agencies consume approximately $1,300,000,000 (1.3 billion) in direct costs annually – supported by your tax dollars. This figure includes handsome six figure salaries for people like Mary McConville, Jeanette Lewis (both of whom were caught misleading the public about Jeffrey Baldwin to avoid accountability), the executive directors and upper management of each CAS agency, etc. Individual CAS employees are unionized members of CUPE who receive fair (attractive to many people) salaries and a very long list of benefits. The financial figure does not include very significant funds devoted to maintaining an infrastructure that includes governmental bureaucracies, university and colleges, family courts, schools and a host of other players as they pertain to CAS – nor does it reflect project, program and research grants available from federal and provincial governments. Money that parents are forced to spend on lawyers and other interests that benefit from the system are not included. The same model exists in all Canadian provinces with slight variations.

Youth homes are often among the poor cousins in this equation. In some cases, core funding is available at the municipal level. CAS pays a portion of what it receives for children it removes and additional grants are available from government agencies and corporations. Funding is often a scramble.

Posts elsewhere on this site address the drug issue. Like the “parent as murderer” comments posted elsewhere on this site, drugs do not play nearly as extensive or debilitating a role in parenting as you believe. You can confirm this yourself by referencing official sources such as Health Canada. One of the unfortunate things with drugs is that the current reporting climate dissuades users who do not want to lose their children from seeking assistance.

As for where will kids go, a shocking percent of kids involved in street life and prostitution are direct products of the system.

You ask what I would suggest. The first thing is to realize that you would very likely have been removed from a good mother under the current system. Your life may have taken a very different course. Second, these issue has little to do with forgiveness (a personal matter on which we agree) but everything to do with accountability. It’s easy to accuse others of throwing stones – that could be said of governments that oppose genocide – and miss the real point - bringing accountability to a barbaric system that causes immense social devastation. Third, realize you would have little to no opportunity to change the future for your children if your family were abused by CAS.

As I said suggested previously, ignoring the issues only allows children to be separated from mothers as good as your own. The CAS employees you refer to are perfectly aware of the abusive culture in which they work. Consequently, they are as complicit in child abuse as the adults in Jeffrey Baldwin’s house.

Incidently, I do a great deal for children and youth (both professionally and personally).

The ignorance of the reader whose comments directly follow your own does not merit a moment of anyone’s attention.

Anonymous said...

What do you think ???????????Every good mother out there is getting there kids taken away I don't think so!!!!There are lots of mothers these days like (amanda's mom)and have nothing to do with the CAS or CCAS.Or they come see a good parent and go and don't come back.You must of had a bad dealing with them or something.

Anonymous said...

If a blog just tears people apart whom they know nothing about is not good. When someones posts something it seems your always there with something bad to say about the other posts!!We will be at the rally's and do whatever we can will you?Or will you be on here waiting for someone to post then shoot them down.this is to the 9:46am post,Elayne.

Anonymous said...

Elayne,

If you re-read the above posts, you will find that mocking comments were made by three uniformed readers. For example:

a) "Multi-billion dollar business HHHMMM! who you care to show me proof of all the multi-billion of dollars the CAS and CCAS have?"

b)"There is someone who posts on this blog who doesnt have their head on straight though ie: billions of dollars etc."

c) "What do you think?????? Every good mother is out there getting their kids taken away? I don't think so!!!

Curiously, you ignore these attempts to insult and twist words. At the same time, you misrepresent facts that have been provided as an attempt to tear someone down. So, if you want to label something bad, I suggest you examine your own comments.

There is no question very good mothers have their children removed by CAS. If you re-read Amanda Paternal Aunt's post you will see she is perfectly this happens. There are also thousands of documented cases where CAS agencies have knowingly inflicted malicious abuse on parents. Rather than lashing out when your assumptions are challenged, try researching these areas. If you believe these parents are all liars, you can also access official studies by government agencies, media articles, position papers by political representatives, books, websites etc. My comments are hardly a revelation. The facts are established and well-known.

Your attempt to twist rally attendance into a litmus test of concern is merely another attempt to tear others down.

Jeffrey's Law said...

CAS and CCAS have a budget of approximately (as in probably MORE) $1.3 billion nationally. How much would any of you guess the biggest, most populated city (Toronto) gets?? More than enough to do their jobs properly! It IS a multi-million (billion) dollar business. If only they would run it like a company; accountability to their customers, stakeholders, emplyee's and public image as well as being FORCED to account for every penny spent, it might be a little more organized. They get MORE tahn enough money from us to do a good job, they just hire bad people who make very bed decisions.

Did Marqurita EVER see Jeffrey with her own eyes? Did she EVER step one foot in that house to check on ANY of the four children?? (six counting Tammy's)

NO! I don't believe that's becuase she wasn't paid enough or whatever other sad excuse that might come up in the inquiry. She CHOSE to cut corners with a child's FATE! She should NEVER be allowed to work with children again and should be charged with negligence. Currently, she is still ACTIVELY EMPLOYED with CCAS! How many other children is she ignoring??

Crying about funding doesn't cut it for me, not by a freakin' long shot!!

Amanda Reed

Anonymous said...

Amanda,

I just wanted to correct your typo. CAS' budget is 1.3 billion just in Ontario. The explosion in CAS' abduction rate reflects the fact that its funding is directly tied to the number of children in custody.

Anonymous said...

Might I also add that CAS agencies are among the largest employers in most Ontario communities.

Jeffrey's Law said...

Thank you for the correction! That's even worse!

I don't believe they are one of the largest employers. They employ people who shouldn't even be working at McDonalds... it shouldn't be a damn charity! They are deciding the FATE of THOUSANDS of children! CAS workers SHOULD be paid well, but they should also have VERY good, extensive education in all aspects of human development, nature, tendancies, etc., etc!!

These are CHILDREN! THEY DO NOT HAVE VOICES! They are consistantly being BETRAYED by their so-called protectors! Does NO ONE else think this wrong?? I DO NOT defend the CAS or CCAS in ANY WAY! Do more research if you think they are a benefit to society anymore! There are good workers, but the ratio of bad to good CAS employees is so far off balance!

I want them cleaned out, cleaned up and held ACCOUNTABLE for every action and decision they make. Maybe they will THINK about what they are doing if they could face criminal charges and unemployment!

Anonymous said...

Right on Amanda. I agree with you completely.

Anonymous said...

In case readers are unaware, another CAS Crown Ward has been found murdered. Available details and CAS' usual spin may be found on Fixcas / Dufferin VOCA.

Jeffrey's Law said...

Sorry for my spelling mistakes in the past two posts, I'm very angrey that ANYONE would defend ANYTHING about the CAS and CCAS. It just doesn't work anymore... SOMETHING has got to give!

Anonymous said...

For the real truth about the CAS in Ontario please visit Origins Canada where you can hear from a whole generation of people who were kidnapped by the state, and brokered to strangers all under the auspices of those agencies. The great lie was that mothers were unfit. It was an immense tragedy that needs to be discussed in a full legal inquiry. The damage that the CAS has done to mothers, fathers and their children is huge!!!

Anonymous said...

Origins Canada, makes one ashamed to admit your have an adopted child.
Very sad indeed. We must all understand, that a child has a right to his or her own natural family, I believe my adopted child is better off knowing, her natural mother, and it is encourage. Children are great gifts, either we deliver them or adopt them, we have a responsibility to ensure,we respect them. And respect the rights of the natural family. I do not believe that adoption should be abolished, but it should never be coursed, done in bad faith, or with threats,all solutions must be explored, before the child is adopted. Open adoption when done for the right reasons, is a wonderful blessing for all involved.I mean contact, shared experience, not a letter or picture once a year. Children ask many questions, is it not truly in the best interest is possible to have the natural family, involved in the answer, of why was I adopted. The best answer to that question if possible is lets talk to your natural mom about that. They need to know they were wanted,and loved. By all parties. Not taken, not given away, not unwanted, not unloved.
And who better to let them a child feel that, then not only the adopted parents but the natural ones as well.
And then watch that child's heart grow. Full of self esteem, and a true sense of identity, and belonging.
What concerns me, is why this is not the norm. And how on earth does anyone expect to wipe out the natural bond, that began in another's womb.

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